Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
