OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize