Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize