She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
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