I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
