Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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