Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
