There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize