so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
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