I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize