wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
