remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
