Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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