Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
