She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
