i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
