So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Randomize
