my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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