Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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