whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize