Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
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