Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
