Please, let me fuck your mom
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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