i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
i drank out of a bidet.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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