I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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