Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Randomize
