You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Just pee around me
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
