just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
