I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
