he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
