Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
What a dumb baby whore.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I wear drunk well.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
