all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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