a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
