Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Randomize
