why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
