I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
