She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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