hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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