Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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