i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
