If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
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