You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
did you just send me my own nude
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
