he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
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