I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
