You really coming over, don't trick.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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