My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
We were destined to go to rehab together
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
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