meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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