Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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