i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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