a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
