The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
