i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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