New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
