You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
