We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
