I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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