are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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