There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
